My long hair and I had one last dance party to T-Pain’s “Church” this morning, then I headed to Mitchells hopped up on Red Bull and Starbucks listening to Christmas music.
I donated ten inches of hair to Locks of Love today. Until four years ago, I kept my hair short and blonde. I’ve been on quite a journey the past four years and my hair was not my priority. It had gotten a bit unruly and needed to be tamed.
This is what my hair typically looked like from my early twenties until I was twenty-seven. I was pregnant in this picture. I just didn’t know it yet. A few days after the above picture was taken I found out I was pregnant. Fifteen days later I had a miscarriage.
I took two weeks off work to physically heal. Emotional healing took MUUUUCH longer! I had to get out of my house but go somewhere I wouldn’t run into any pregnant women or babies. I thought going to get my hair cut would be a good idea. My stylist comes out and what did I see? A pregnant belly.
We made small talk until she asked me what I did for New Year’s Eve. I had my miscarriage on December 30th, 2008. I didn’t know If I should say anything but I did and we sat there in awkward silence. She finished my haircut and I walked out of Mitchells, sat down in my car and lost it. I ugly cried right there in the parking lot.
A couple of months later I decided to color my hair darker and I didn’t want to see my hairdressers even bigger belly so I scheduled the appointment with a new girl. She was great but after she cut my hair a few times I found out she quit to do make-up so I was again without a hairdresser. Oh, the horror!
A few months after I had my miscarriage, my grandma was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Everyone that knows me knows how much I love her and that watching her battle brain cancer was the worst experience of my life.
By the end of 2009 I was emotionally healed from my loss but my families lives revolved round chemotherapy and that bitch of a word cancer.
In 2010 that place I helped make succesful did me a favor and laid off all of the management staff. Financially it wasn’t fun but I needed the push because I stayed way too long because I loved what I had built. I am much happier now.
2011 was the worst. That’s when my grandma’s battle got hard. That’s when we realized we were going to lose her.
The beginning of 2012 was even harder than the last few years. Spa days were the last thing on my mind. I still miss my granny so much.
I looked at myself in the mirror recently and thought “Holy freaking moly! Where did those bags under my eyes come from? Oh, yeah, life!”
Through all the chaos my hair kept growing and was out of control. I’ve got goals and plans for 2013 and it was time to shed the hair. It had been with me through a lot, but it’s just hair. Now Locks of Love will turn it into a wig for a child with cancer.
As Bailey, the hairdresser at Mitchells was cutting my hair, I got a good look at my face in the mirror. I look tired. I still look good! I just look good and tired.
There are many ways to heal. Shedding my hair is just a small way to get started. There are some things we never fully recover from. Life is an accumulation of experiences.
Thanks for reading my long-winded post. I needed to purge some emotions along with my hair.